Phil Watch: Sneaking One In Under The Headline

Interesting that Phil buried his White Sox preview between a jerkfest 2008 Cubs preview and a Clemens offering.

Seriously. An afterthought if there ever was one.

Where's all the sunshine and roses predictions? Where's all the purple prose like 'it was a cold January night' or 'Theriot's a throwback to the 30s and 40s'?

Along with the jewelry worn by White Sox coaches and many front-office types, those guys are all that's left from the magical 2005 season at U.S. Cellular Field. The team that went 110-64 that season has gone 104-135 over the last season and a half. That is staggering, the equivalent of a shift from 102 to 70 wins over a 162-game season.

Hey Sox fans. Do you know your team was bad last year?

You can't say Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf isn't trying. That's what makes it so amazing that his team finished 24 games behind Cleveland and 16 behind Detroit a year ago.

Again. Sox fans? Do you know your team was bad last year? We're over a third of the way into the preview and Phil has told us the Sox were not good at baseball last year.

Not everything is bleak for Sox fans. Mark Buehrle and Paul Konerko are two veterans who are still around. These are the foundation guys, steady performers who never back down from responsibility...Physically, they're fine.

This is what is called 'damning them with faint praise'.

Fans also should appreciate that Reinsdorf and Williams are trying to win, even if the powerful nature of the American League Central competition screams "Rebuild."

Second time 'trying' is used pejoratively. And can we stop talking about the AL Central like it's five teams reminiscent of the '27 Yankees?

Let's review bottom to top:

Royals - nice, young team. Fun to watch. Almost cute in a way. Still a year from even sniffing .500.

Twins - Traded Johan Santana. Michael Cuddyer now seen as one of their marquee players. Nuff said.

Indians - Good team. 96-66 last year. That's good. I ran this down here. Again. Westbrook, Byrd and Laffey scare you? How about Betancourt and Borowski?

Tigers - starting rotation: Verlander, Bonderman, Willis, Rogers and Robertson. Bonderman was 2-8 with a 7.38 ERA in the second half of last year. Dontrelle Willis had a great 2005. Take that year out of his career numbers and he's 46-44 with a 4.55 ERA and a 1.43 WHIP. Kenny Rogers? 43 years-old and coming up left shoulder surgery. Check out their bullpen. That's bad. Offensively, they're loaded. But they will have to outscore teams. Never an enviable position.

I believe Williams made a mistake in the calculated risk he took by continuing to deal many of his best prospects — such as Fautino de los Santos, Gio Gonzalez, Ryan Sweeney, Chris Carter and Aaron Cunningham —in hopes of catching the Indians and Tigers.

Yes, Phil. You've made that abundantly clear. And in return, the Sox got Nick Swisher, a guy with with an .836 OPS last year and Carlos Quentin, a guy with a career minor league OPS of .940. OPS is important, right?

In 2007, Williams somehow permitted Jerry Owens (who needed 99 at-bats to drive in his first big-league run), Andy Gonzalez, Danny Richar and Alex Cintron to combine for 917 at-bats. In other words, one of every six at-bats for the White Sox went to these guys, who combined for 11 home runs and 62 RBIs.

Somehow? They. Were. Bad! And. Injured! Williams and Guillen wanted to see what they had! Did you watch any of the games last year? And guess what? They found out they were not that good and made some trades. And guess what again? These were prospects. You know, those types of people you inexplicably wet your pants over.

Make up your mind, please. Prospects - good or bad?

Mike Caruso, as bad a big-league player as there ever was, got only 155 more at-bats during his career and drove in 28 more runs. So essentially the Sox had two Carusos in the lineup every game last year. This is the slingshot approach for slaying a Goliath.

What? The? Fuck? I mean, where do I begin? Mike Caruso? This is just lazy, bad writing. Does Phil actually think Richar, Owens and Gonzalez broke camp with the Sox last year? If you're going to do a preview of the White Sox, please watch actual White Sox baseball games. It seems like the proper thing to do.

Mercifully, Williams has upgraded by adding shortstop Orlando Cabrera and Nick Swisher, who figures to be force-fit into center field. A platoon of Carlos Quentin and Owens could be interesting in left field. Octavio Dotel and Scott Linebrink improve the bullpen.

In a White Sox preview, Phil mentions the acquisitions of Orlando Cabrera, Nick Swisher and Carlos Quentin in the absolutely last paragraph.

Cabrera, considered by many to be the best defensive shortstop in the league and a guy who is coming off his best offensive year of his career. Swisher, a guy who plays multiple positions very well, is only 27 and is locked in until 2011 for an extremely reasonable price. And Quentin, a guy with an incredible arm, walks a ton and hits baseballs very far.

Now that's a balanced look at your 2008 Chicago White Sox, gentlemen.