Phil Watch: Adjusting w/o...Garland?

Maybe Phil's going in spurts.

Maybe this two months spent making trite observations about the White Sox will be mirrored by two months spent on the Cubs.

And in all that is holy, please make it soon.

With the hopes that this is the last one of this ilk, here we go:

Mark Buehrle worried that he would be followed around spring training by a ghost this spring. He figured he would be haunted by Jon Garland wherever he went, from the remote practice fields to the big-league clubhouse and at the restaurants where they had shared meals for eight years together.

Is it possible to be haunted by Jon Garland? Really. C'mon. It's Jon Garland.

I'm an Angels fan. When I heard of the trade, my initial reaction was "Um...what?" After a few minutes, it became obvious that the Angels were more worried about the bullpen's second half collapse than I thought. The Garland move for the Angels was done for one reason. Garland eats innings. That's it. That's all. End of discussion.

And the White Sox were not going to sign him. He was going west after this year no matter what. For the Sox, getting Cabrera and $1.5 million was an absolute coup.

With that established, in Phil's eyes, apparently Jon Garland is Col. Kurtz.

I wonder if he'll cherry-pick Garland's career statistics (turn head to the sky ponderously)?

Yet Garland's absence—after 92 victories, 223 starts and 1,428 innings in a White Sox uniform—is as notable this spring as the arrival of any of the newcomers designed to erase the bad memories of 2007.

Ah, consistency in life is important.

When Kenny Williams takes a crap, do you think Phil's there to criticize the technique?

And is there a White Sox fan out there that's going to lament the loss of Garland at any time during this season? Really. At any one point during this season, is anyone going to curse Kenny for trading...Jon Garland?

And Phil, grown-ups make decisions not to erase bad memories of the past. They make decisions to improve their current situation. There's a difference.

Oh, and Garland's career ERA is 4.41. His career WHIP is 1.38. Hits/9? 9.1. That's bad. All those aren't particularly good.

Those two 18-win seasons were a lark. Looks good, but anyone who watched those starts knows they were a bit of a illusion.

Innings. Eater. That's all he is.

And the Sox got arguably the best defensive shortstop in the game for him.

Might want to talk about that.

"There are not many guys around who are able to take their turn every fifth day and give you 200 innings every year," said Buehrle, who is one of those guys himself. "He's definitely going to be missed. But you have to give up something to get something. We got an outstanding shortstop in Orlando Cabrera."

Hey, this seems like a good opportunity for Phil to discuss Cabrera w/r/t flow and progression of the column.

Will he take this opportunity?

Garland twice won 18 games for the White Sox. He was an All-Star in 2005, finishing sixth in Cy Young voting that season.

Nope.

And let me be clear here because I prefer not to mention it again. All-Star. Voting. Means. Absolutely. Nothing. In. This. World. Or. Any. Theoretical. Temporal. Plane.

Okay, got that out. And if it is important, how does a guy who has been in the league eight years only make the team once?

Cy Young voting? Tied for sixth that year?

Look closer at the voting and how it's configured! Garland receives exactly one point in the voting, meaning one sportswriter, probably Phil, gave him one third-place vote.

It's not a comprehensive points total system extending out 20 spots. Writers vote for first, second and third with first getting five points, second getting three points and third getting one point. Garland had one guy vote him third. That. Is. All.

Oh, BTW, Garland was 5-6 in the second half of 2005. Just a thought.

To recap. All-Star? Stupid. And one time in eight years. Cy Young? One third-place vote.

Jon Garland is just a guy. He's Livan Hernandez. Not a ghost.

Maybe so, but where the White Sox knew what they were going to get from Garland they will have to cross their fingers without him. You worry that he will be one of those guys who is appreciated best when he's not around, especially given that in-house candidates John Danks, Gavin Floyd and Lance Broadway have 15 career victories between them.

And Gio Gonzalez and Fautino de los Santos have exactly no major-league victories between them.

Consider what happened when the Cubs allowed Matt Clement to leave as a free agent after the 2004 season. The right-hander with the billy-goat beard had started 30-plus games each season for Don Baylor and Dusty Baker in 2002-04, helping the Cubs win a division title in '03 and come close in '04.

His departure wasn't considered big news. But the Cubs' victory total dropped from 89 to 79 in 2005, in part because Glendon Rusch, Jerome Williams and Sergio Mitre made a mess of the No. 4 spot in the rotation.

I love the use of 'in part'. It's so noncommittal and used to avoid complete ownership of the greater point. 'In part' says I'm too lazy to do a larger analysis.

It took me 22 seconds to find this and compare it to this.

The Cubs scored 789 runs in 2004 and 703 runs in 2005. That's a half-run less per game, roughly translating statistically into a much badder baseball team that was bad at baseball-type things.

It had nothing to do with the fact the Neifi Perez was the shortstop, Ramirez missed 35 games, Todd fuckin' Hollandsworth was the left fielder, Jeromy Burnitz was the right fielder and their center fielder in Corey Patterson hit .215 (and led off for the first half of the year with a .254 OBP).

Really. Check it out.

Nope. It was because Matt Clement wasn't the fourth starter.

Dope.

Phil Watch: Dude, Let It Go

Okay. Someone in the Sox organization - probably Guillen, maybe Kenny - made fun of Phil a few years ago and he hasn't let it go.

It's the only explanation for his myopic, redundant, vindictive and vituperative columns.

Really. It's the only reason I can think of for this crap. He essentially writes the same article over and over again, changing only the intro.

With that, we're given today's offering.

A lack of talent throughout the organization contributed to their first losing season since 1999 and left general manager Ken Williams with the team's first top-10 draft pick since 1990. The Sox's slide has coincided with the rise of the American League Central as arguably baseball's best division.

Same crap, different day. Yes. We get it. You believe and an argument could be made that the AL Central is the best division in baseball. You said it here and here and here and here. And that's only in the last six weeks.

And a lack of talent? Um, what?

Ever have a friend or acquaintance that just says stupid shit because he doesn't have the innate ability to cogently form a complex or nuanced opinion on anything? Phil just channeled a detailed history of my college years. Kudos.

Detroit is the biggest problem. The Sox were 16 games behind the Tigers in 2007 and five in '06, when Detroit went to the World Series, and owner Mike Ilitch and GM Dave Dombrowski just keep making the roster stronger.

The Indians, who were one win from the World Series in October, are almost as big an issue. They're bringing back a 96-win team intact.

I'm going to follow Phil's lead here and just regurgitate verbiage I've previously written.

Prospects matter, right? The Tigers traded seven of their top eleven prospects for Cabrera and Renteria. That's their whole farm system.

Five of the prospects were pitchers, something the Tigers could quickly be in need of when Kenny Rogers' arm falls off, Bonderman and Willis continue to be Bonderman and Willis and the bullpen does their best imitation of the '07 White Sox (don't mess with Jason Grilli and Bobby Seay - it will only bring you pain). Again, they should score a shitload of runs. Again. No. Pitching.

The Indians are indeed 'intact', meaning to match 96 wins this year, Byrd, Westbrook, Carmona, Betancourt and Borowski have to match or exceed last year's pitching numbers.

I wouldn't put money on it. You?

While the math doesn't seem to add up for them, Williams and Sox Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf remain undaunted. Reinsdorf continues to spend millions — the payroll could be in the range of $115 million to $120 million, behind only the Yankees, Red Sox, Tigers and Angels — and Williams keeps trading away minor-leaguers he will miss down the road, all in the hope of being one of 2008's surprises.

The math Phil refers to is the number of games the Sox were behind the Tigers in the standings the last two years. How that relates to this year, IDK. Do they carry over? Is that a new rule I missed?

The White Sox payroll this year will NOT be in the $115-$120 million range this year. Why Phil insists on this number is beyond me. I think he thinks it's impressive because it fits into his dipshit argument that Reinsdorf is irresponsibly spending money.

Here are the numbers. With Crede and Uribe, the payroll sits at just under $110 million. They receive $8.5 million in cash considerations from the Angels and Phillies. Crede will be traded and Uribe could be traded. That's $5 million for Crede and $4.5 million for Uribe. Take those off the books and the payroll sits at around $100 million, a $8 million decrease from last year.

And he makes it sound like Kenny traded away the farm in Tigers-like proportions.

Again. Gio Gonzalez was the only guy that even smelled the 2007's top-100 prospect list.

The Cubs are positioned for a second straight playoff appearance and for once might have history on their side. Hey, this is the year if they're going to win a World Series every 100 years.

Lame Cub fan joke.

His investors won't be real happy about another 10 percent drop in attendance, and the only way to sell tickets in August and September is to win. No one knows this better than the Sox, which may be why they are so willing to take a chance on spitting into the wind.

Help me out. The Sox get a Gold Glove shortstop and the quintessential number two hitter in Orlando Cabrera and a solid number five hitter and guy who plays multiple positions well in Nick Swisher. They also get a guy who is considered one of the top five set-up men in baseball in Scott Linebrink and add an admitted risk with serious upside in Octavio Dotel. Not sexy names but who cares?

How is this spitting into the wind? They addressed their biggest issues from last year!

They take a chance by relying on Floyd and Danks. Sure. But aren't they recent prospects who only just lost that tag?

Floyd's a risk but Danks showed signs last year of being a pretty good pitcher.

Nobody is saying that, on paper, the White Sox are equal to the talent on the Indians and Tigers. But it's not lights years away as Phil wants us to believe.

Seriously. Beat another drum, Phil. This is getting boring for me.

He didn't. Phil's comprehensive AL Central preview just posted today.

Crap.

Phil Watch: Sneaking One In Under The Headline

Interesting that Phil buried his White Sox preview between a jerkfest 2008 Cubs preview and a Clemens offering.

Seriously. An afterthought if there ever was one.

Where's all the sunshine and roses predictions? Where's all the purple prose like 'it was a cold January night' or 'Theriot's a throwback to the 30s and 40s'?

Along with the jewelry worn by White Sox coaches and many front-office types, those guys are all that's left from the magical 2005 season at U.S. Cellular Field. The team that went 110-64 that season has gone 104-135 over the last season and a half. That is staggering, the equivalent of a shift from 102 to 70 wins over a 162-game season.

Hey Sox fans. Do you know your team was bad last year?

You can't say Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf isn't trying. That's what makes it so amazing that his team finished 24 games behind Cleveland and 16 behind Detroit a year ago.

Again. Sox fans? Do you know your team was bad last year? We're over a third of the way into the preview and Phil has told us the Sox were not good at baseball last year.

Not everything is bleak for Sox fans. Mark Buehrle and Paul Konerko are two veterans who are still around. These are the foundation guys, steady performers who never back down from responsibility...Physically, they're fine.

This is what is called 'damning them with faint praise'.

Fans also should appreciate that Reinsdorf and Williams are trying to win, even if the powerful nature of the American League Central competition screams "Rebuild."

Second time 'trying' is used pejoratively. And can we stop talking about the AL Central like it's five teams reminiscent of the '27 Yankees?

Let's review bottom to top:

Royals - nice, young team. Fun to watch. Almost cute in a way. Still a year from even sniffing .500.

Twins - Traded Johan Santana. Michael Cuddyer now seen as one of their marquee players. Nuff said.

Indians - Good team. 96-66 last year. That's good. I ran this down here. Again. Westbrook, Byrd and Laffey scare you? How about Betancourt and Borowski?

Tigers - starting rotation: Verlander, Bonderman, Willis, Rogers and Robertson. Bonderman was 2-8 with a 7.38 ERA in the second half of last year. Dontrelle Willis had a great 2005. Take that year out of his career numbers and he's 46-44 with a 4.55 ERA and a 1.43 WHIP. Kenny Rogers? 43 years-old and coming up left shoulder surgery. Check out their bullpen. That's bad. Offensively, they're loaded. But they will have to outscore teams. Never an enviable position.

I believe Williams made a mistake in the calculated risk he took by continuing to deal many of his best prospects — such as Fautino de los Santos, Gio Gonzalez, Ryan Sweeney, Chris Carter and Aaron Cunningham —in hopes of catching the Indians and Tigers.

Yes, Phil. You've made that abundantly clear. And in return, the Sox got Nick Swisher, a guy with with an .836 OPS last year and Carlos Quentin, a guy with a career minor league OPS of .940. OPS is important, right?

In 2007, Williams somehow permitted Jerry Owens (who needed 99 at-bats to drive in his first big-league run), Andy Gonzalez, Danny Richar and Alex Cintron to combine for 917 at-bats. In other words, one of every six at-bats for the White Sox went to these guys, who combined for 11 home runs and 62 RBIs.

Somehow? They. Were. Bad! And. Injured! Williams and Guillen wanted to see what they had! Did you watch any of the games last year? And guess what? They found out they were not that good and made some trades. And guess what again? These were prospects. You know, those types of people you inexplicably wet your pants over.

Make up your mind, please. Prospects - good or bad?

Mike Caruso, as bad a big-league player as there ever was, got only 155 more at-bats during his career and drove in 28 more runs. So essentially the Sox had two Carusos in the lineup every game last year. This is the slingshot approach for slaying a Goliath.

What? The? Fuck? I mean, where do I begin? Mike Caruso? This is just lazy, bad writing. Does Phil actually think Richar, Owens and Gonzalez broke camp with the Sox last year? If you're going to do a preview of the White Sox, please watch actual White Sox baseball games. It seems like the proper thing to do.

Mercifully, Williams has upgraded by adding shortstop Orlando Cabrera and Nick Swisher, who figures to be force-fit into center field. A platoon of Carlos Quentin and Owens could be interesting in left field. Octavio Dotel and Scott Linebrink improve the bullpen.

In a White Sox preview, Phil mentions the acquisitions of Orlando Cabrera, Nick Swisher and Carlos Quentin in the absolutely last paragraph.

Cabrera, considered by many to be the best defensive shortstop in the league and a guy who is coming off his best offensive year of his career. Swisher, a guy who plays multiple positions very well, is only 27 and is locked in until 2011 for an extremely reasonable price. And Quentin, a guy with an incredible arm, walks a ton and hits baseballs very far.

Now that's a balanced look at your 2008 Chicago White Sox, gentlemen.

Phil Watch: Why Do Zebras Have Stripes, Daddy?

Interesting that Phil buried his White Sox preview between a jerkfest 2008 Cubs preview and a Clemens offering.

Seriously. An afterthought if there ever was one.

Where's all the sunshine and roses predictions? Where's all the purple prose like 'it was a cold January night' or 'Theriot's a throwback to the 30s and 40s'?

Along with the jewelry worn by White Sox coaches and many front-office types, those guys are all that's left from the magical 2005 season at U.S. Cellular Field. The team that went 110-64 that season has gone 104-135 over the last season and a half. That is staggering, the equivalent of a shift from 102 to 70 wins over a 162-game season.

Hey Sox fans. Do you know your team was bad last year?

You can't say Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf isn't trying. That's what makes it so amazing that his team finished 24 games behind Cleveland and 16 behind Detroit a year ago.

Again. Sox fans? Do you know your team was bad last year? We're over a third of the way into the preview and Phil has told us the Sox were not good at baseball last year.

Not everything is bleak for Sox fans. Mark Buehrle and Paul Konerko are two veterans who are still around. These are the foundation guys, steady performers who never back down from responsibility...Physically, they're fine.

This is what is called 'damning them with faint praise'.

Fans also should appreciate that Reinsdorf and Williams are trying to win, even if the powerful nature of the American League Central competition screams "Rebuild."

Second time 'trying' is used pejoratively. And can we stop talking about the AL Central like it's five teams reminiscent of the '27 Yankees?

Let's review bottom to top:

Royals - nice, young team. Fun to watch. Almost cute in a way. Still a year from even sniffing .500.

Twins - Traded Johan Santana. Michael Cuddyer now seen as one of their marquee players. Nuff said.

Indians - Good team. 96-66 last year. That's good. I ran this down here. Again. Westbrook, Byrd and Laffey scare you? How about Betancourt and Borowski?

Tigers - starting rotation: Verlander, Bonderman, Willis, Rogers and Robertson. Bonderman was 2-8 with a 7.38 ERA in the second half of last year. Dontrelle Willis had a great 2005. Take that year out of his career numbers and he's 46-44 with a 4.55 ERA and a 1.43 WHIP. Kenny Rogers? 43 years-old and coming up left shoulder surgery. Check out their bullpen. That's bad. Offensively, they're loaded. But they will have to outscore teams. Never an enviable position.

I believe Williams made a mistake in the calculated risk he took by continuing to deal many of his best prospects — such as Fautino de los Santos, Gio Gonzalez, Ryan Sweeney, Chris Carter and Aaron Cunningham —in hopes of catching the Indians and Tigers.

Yes, Phil. You've made that abundantly clear. And in return, the Sox got Nick Swisher, a guy with with an .836 OPS last year and Carlos Quentin, a guy with a career minor league OPS of .940. OPS is important, right?

In 2007, Williams somehow permitted Jerry Owens (who needed 99 at-bats to drive in his first big-league run), Andy Gonzalez, Danny Richar and Alex Cintron to combine for 917 at-bats. In other words, one of every six at-bats for the White Sox went to these guys, who combined for 11 home runs and 62 RBIs.

Somehow? They. Were. Bad! And. Injured! Williams and Guillen wanted to see what they had! Did you watch any of the games last year? And guess what? They found out they were not that good and made some trades. And guess what again? These were prospects. You know, those types of people you inexplicably wet your pants over.

Make up your mind, please. Prospects - good or bad?

Mike Caruso, as bad a big-league player as there ever was, got only 155 more at-bats during his career and drove in 28 more runs. So essentially the Sox had two Carusos in the lineup every game last year. This is the slingshot approach for slaying a Goliath.

What? The? Fuck? I mean, where do I begin? Mike Caruso? This is just lazy, bad writing. Does Phil actually think Richar, Owens and Gonzalez broke camp with the Sox last year? If you're going to do a preview of the White Sox, please watch actual White Sox baseball games. It seems like the proper thing to do.

Mercifully, Williams has upgraded by adding shortstop Orlando Cabrera and Nick Swisher, who figures to be force-fit into center field. A platoon of Carlos Quentin and Owens could be interesting in left field. Octavio Dotel and Scott Linebrink improve the bullpen.

In a White Sox preview, Phil mentions the acquisitions of Orlando Cabrera, Nick Swisher and Carlos Quentin in the absolutely last paragraph.

Cabrera, considered by many to be the best defensive shortstop in the league and a guy who is coming off his best offensive year of his career. Swisher, a guy who plays multiple positions very well, is only 27 and is locked in until 2011 for an extremely reasonable price. And Quentin, a guy with an incredible arm, walks a ton and hits baseballs very far.

Now that's a balanced look at your 2008 Chicago White Sox, gentlemen.

Phil Watch: He's Baiting Me

Lazy offering today from Phil.

Why? Steve Bartman's name is in the first paragraph.

I'm not going to repeat this. Bartman did NOT lose that series. The Cubs did.

And basically, he does the equivalent of whipping up a casserole from all the leftovers in the fridge.

After collecting all the information for his Sabathia article eight days ago, he tosses everything he didn't use into today's column. Does he have a hard-on for the Indians and, in particular, Jake Westbrook?

Let's see:

Like the Red Sox and Yankees, the Indians have one of the best rosters in baseball. Unlike those two teams, however, they have not won six World Series since 1996.

Um, okay. The phrasing of the sentence makes one think that Phil believes the Indians have one of the top three, maybe four, possibly five best rosters in baseball.

I will list teams that, in my opinion, are better. See if you disagree:

Red Sox

Yankees

Mets

Angels

Tigers

Phillies

Diamondbacks

And then the Indians, tied with the Rockies.

That's eighth-best, making them "good", not "one of the best".

Why? Still no proven second baseman. Blake's nothing more than serviceable at third. Hafner seriously regressed last year. Outfield of Michaels-Sizemore-Gutierrez is average at best (I can name at least 12 outfields that will outproduce them). Westbrook was 6-9 on a team that was 30 games over .500 last year. Paul Byrd is Paul Byrd (and a bit juicy). 15-8 will not be duplicated. Betancourt pitched completely out of his gourd last year and Borowski was absolutely brutal and is in line to close again this year.

(take a breath, Christo) In other words, they have issues. They got hot. That's all.

The Indians may regret not having done something to prevent Cabrera from going to Detroit or even Nick Swisher going to the White Sox.

Wait a minute. I thought Swisher thing was a bad deal. And where exactly would Swisher play on the Indians? First base has Garko-Martinez-Hafner and center has Sizemore. The corner outfield spots were given over to prospects last year that show promise. The Indians should have gotten Swisher to prevent the Sox from getting him? What? How? Who?

And your whole article makes the point that Shapiro built his club on depth (Earl Weaver - all that crap) and youth. Why in God's name would Shapiro have traded the farm for Cabrera in your eyes?

Make a focused point, please. Don't hedge your bets and hide behind the mays, coulds and mights. You're a columnist. It's what you're supposed to do.

With Sabathia, Fausto Carmona and Jake Westbrook healthy, and Curt Schilling not healthy, the Indians have as much pitching as any team in the AL. Shapiro would not trade pitching to upgrade the lineup, perhaps knowing he always can go out and get another guy like Kenny Lofton in July.

JHC! Jake Westbrook is a fucking career .500 pitcher. Put the tissues away. Okay, he pitched brilliantly in game 3 of the ALCS and pitched okay in game 7. Again, 6-9 on a team that was 30 games over .500. If we're using postseason numbers to equate a pitcher's spectacularness, Sabathia was 1-2 with an 8.80 ERA in the playoffs last year. Chew on that.

And 'Curt Schilling not healthy'?! How the fuck does that matter? The inherent goodness of the Red Sox staff does not rest on Schilling. He's 98 years-old and was borderline brutal in the second half of the season. And the Angels have far superior pitching compared to the Indians.

And..and...Kenny Lofton?! He's 99! Somebody explain the Kenny Lofton love to me. Please. I need to know why he is the answer. Phil is truly a Cubs fan.

Shapiro and the Indians lead the majors in one category—conviction.

jasdklfjopisifuw0-pfjasdflfkjadsfophjaffewvfdaflkjfoewa!!!!!!!!!

He did not fucking write that. I did not see it. It did not happen.

Phil Watch: "Say What You See, Gareth."

Upon first glance, Phil's offering today seemed pretty humdrum, just more of Phil being Phil, puking back up analysis that smarter minds did three days ago.

Shame on me for giving the benefit of the doubt.

With Santana's new contract, C.C. Sabathia is about 'ta git paaaid'.

While Sabathia says he hopes to stay, the reality is Cleveland hasn't ranked higher than 23rd in payroll since 2002 and already has signed Travis Hafner, Jake Westbrook, Grady Sizemore and Victor Martinez to deals worth a combined $131.7 million through 2012.

Phil, I know it's hard to remember seven years ago, but you might think back to 2001 when the Indians got old and got old fast. Shapiro took over from John Hart and declared rebuilding would be a new focus. And this is how he did it.

So of course the payroll since 2002 is going to be 'no higher than 23rd'. The players they got back in the furry of trades made back then recently became arbitration-eligible.

Let's look at Phil's payroll analysis:

Well, first - those four players' deals add up to $134.2 million, but that's neither here nor there.

Here are the year-by-year total breakdowns (via MLBcontracts.com):

08: $25.3M

09: $31.8M

10: $35.1M with a $7M club option for Victor Martinez (probably picked up)

11: $20.5M

12: $21.5M with a $8.5M club option for Grady Sizemore (probably picked up)

Hardly large commitments for three of their top four hitters in the lineup and their #3 starter.

For a more eye-opening breakdown of the Indians' payroll situation, check this out and tell me you wouldn't take that projection for your team.

By contrast, the White Sox owe four players in identical positional/contract situations (Konerko, Vazquez, Dye and Pierzynski) $121.5M over the next three years, not five and both teams have extraordinarily similar revenue streams.

Sure, Sabathia just became more expensive, but the Indians absolutely are in position to sign him.

Tubby had a great year last year, but those above-4 ERAs in his past necessitate another spectacular year this year to get $25M per.

The Mets move past Philadelphia to become a preseason favorite in the National League East and enter the discussion—alongside Colorado, Arizona and the Cubs—about the best team in their league. Minaya now is working to add free agent right-hander Kyle Lohse, who would leave only one opening in the rotation for a group including Oliver Perez, Orlando Hernandez and Pelfrey that made 66 starts last season.

Does that last sentence make any sense to anyone?

First, John Maine throws baseballs for the Mets. With Santana, Pedro Martinez, Maine, Perez and Pelfrey (that's five), Lohse would be signed for insurance against Pedro's arm falling off and Pelfrey needing more time.

(Some of the losers from the Santana deal) The Yankees—On one hand, it's admirable to see Brian Cashman convince Hank Steinbrenner to hang on to potential front-of-the-rotation guys Joba Chamberlain, Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy. But on the other, it's hard to see how they make up a gap on Boston, which is deeper at both the major- and minor-league levels and has won the World Series twice since the Yankees' last parade more than seven years ago.

Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Jorge Posada, Bobby Abreu, Hideki Matsui, Johnny Damon and Jason Giambi are all at least 33 and there's no true No. 1 in a rotation headed by Chien-Ming Wang and Mike Mussina.

In all that is holy, how does this make the Yankees a loser?

How...what...who...I'm confused.

In the very recent past, Phil proved that he has a raging hard-on for prospects over proven talent.

So the Yankees should have traded:

Phillip Hughes, 21, rated the fourth-best prospect overall in 2007 and will be in the rotation.

Joba Chamberlain, 22, a guy with these numbers and expected to take the #2 spot this year.

and/or

Ian Kennedy, 23, a guy with these numbers and projected to fill the #3/#4 spot this year.

How would a Santana trade address the issue of making them younger, the crux of your whole argument here???!!!

JHC! Proofread your own article!

In nary a year, the Yankees rotation realistically could surpass the Red Sox rotation. Hughes, Chamberlain and Kennedy are younger, cheaper and, at the very minimum, equal to Matsusaka, Lester and Buchholz in talent and potential.

I better not ever hear Phil bitch about the Yankees out-spending everybody.

On other matters, I scored a reservation at French Laundry yesterday for April 1.

Hot Damn, we're excited.