Phil Watch: Just The Juicy Bits

Mid-week Phil this week in the Trib's Hardball blog.

Why not?

Let's do it just for cataloguing purposes.

FT. MYERS, FLA. -- Is there a player in the majors who means more to his team than Joe Mauer?

Yes.  Yes There Is.

I'm not sure there is. 

We covered that.

The Minnesota Twins catcher is a .317 career hitter who bats third, the Donald Trump spot. 

Phil was on the MLB Network a few days ago puking back his Ralph Kramden joke w/r/t Joe Mauer.  Matt Vasgerian thought it was HI-larious!!!  

On that, Vasgerian asked Phil questions relating only to his last few columns, which were almost uniformly Twins-tastic.  Cuz Crede and Mauer are dreamy.

If Mauer is healthy, the Twins should be able to once again compete with anyone in the American League Central, including Detroit and the White Sox, who always outspend them. 

Whoa!  I thought it was the addition of Crede?  From February Phil:

...With Crede migrating from the defending champion Sox, the Twins become favorites to win their fifth division title in eight seasons under the brilliantly simple Ron Gardenhire.

Ron Gardenhire gets that. But after watching Mauer suffer through the pain and confusion of an injury almost never seen in baseball – lower-back pain caused by an inflammation of the sacroiliac joint; the dreaded Ralph Kramden injury – it's clear that the team's plight is a distant second on Gardenhire's radar.

See.  Well, Vasgerian laughed so why not pound the joke into the ground.

And shouldn't Gardenhire be worried about the team first?  It's not like Mauer's going to die.  Aren't they at least interrelated?

The timing is horrible for Mauer. He's due a total of $23 million in the last two seasons of a four-year deal but was poised to start talks on a monster extension – perhaps a deal worth upwards of $100 million – before being sidelined. 

My Golly!  Nobody's giving Mauer $100 million!  A catcher...with a history of various, weird injuries?  Please tell me what team pays that and I will tell you that is a stupid baseball team.

Onto other stuff...

Wringing out the last drops: There's not a lot left in the tank for Jorge Posada and Jason Varitek, not after having putting their bodies on the line these last 11 seasons in the Yankee-Red Sox rivalry.

Oh, God.  He didn't say that.

They hope that 25-year-old George Kottaras will hit enough to prove himself worthy.

Kottaras will get playing time as Varitek's backup, having passed the test of catching Tim Wakefield's knuckleball.

I call for a moratorium on stupid-ass articles breaking down the "importance" of the Red Sox finding a guy to catch Tim Freakin' Wakefield.  My brain can't take it anymore.

And then there's Phil Whispers.  He keeps an ear to the ground...

Korean manager Kim In-sik is one of my new heroes. He watched every game his team played in the WBC with amazingly calm body language, like he had prepared his team and was willing to let the players win or lose. 

Hero?  Wait a minute...is this more "WBC guys are like war heroes" crap?  Like Ted Roosevelt Lilly crap?

But at the same time he made daring tactical decisions that often worked. 

Yep.  He was like the Allied Forces' advance on Guadalcanal.  Stalwart, calm and cool.

News to very few: The Orioles have two young studs in center fielder Adam Jones and catcher Matt Wieters. … 

Then why write it.

It's almost time to make my picks and I still don't know which way to go in the AL Central. I'm pretty well set on the Yankees, Angels, Mets, Cubs and Dodgers, although I think both the Cardinals and Diamondbacks are dangerous sleepers. …

I'm on the edge of my seat.

The Phillies' Jayson Werth gets better every year. It's time he gets more than 418 at-bats, the career high he set last year. 

Cuz Phil says so.  His measured measuredness determines that Jayson Werth is now good.  Not that he is now actually good.

… Since starting the spring 1-16-3, the pitching thin Houston Astros have won six in a row. The turn-around came after Ivan Rodriguez arrived. … 

He played in three of those games.  But his presence, the mere presence of Ivan Rodriguez won those other three.  He's The Most Interesting Man In The World.  

Go sell stupid someplace else.  We're all booked up here. 

Don't look now but the Yankees' starting rotation looks ready for a big season. C.C. Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, Chien-Ming Wang, Andy Pettitte and Joba Chamberlain are a combined 7-3 with a 2.98 ERA this spring. … 

Hanley Ramirez is hitting .113 this spring.  My fantasy team is screwed!!!!

The Cubs knew Ricky Nolasco was going to be good; but, no, they didn't know Juan Pierre would be so bad … 

In one season with the Cubs, Juan Pierre put up the same numbers in every statistical category than he did the three years previous.  So...

WHAT?

They got what they thought they were going to get.  And that speaks to the stupidity making the trade in general, not anything to do with how 'bad' Pierre was.  What?  He was all of a sudden going to hit 40 home runs?

If Phil did a mid-week whispers, what leftovers are going to be offered for the Sunday paper?