Hot off Saturday's turd that caused Boers to hand it to him in afternoon drive yesterday, Phil offers us this. BTW, he came off as much of a stumbling old boob as I envisioned. Me likes it when things match up.
Let's get started.
Dontrelle Willis looks good with a bat in his hand. He knows what to do with it too.
Willis set a record with 15 home runs in his Little League, collected three hits against the Cubs in a playoff game and batted .286 last season, when he averaged one extra-base hit every nine at-bats--not that any of this means anything to his new team, the Detroit Tigers.
How this is relevant, IDK (I've been working on my shit-ass internet speak). Maybe he's building to something. But I have a question. Is that the worldwide Little League record?
What's the criteria? Just askin'.
Unless Bud Selig abolishes the designated hitter rule, Willis won't be going to the plate anytime soon. He insists he won't miss it.
He's not so why write it. This is the kind of shit that comes from people who have little to say.
Kind of like listening to first-year journalism students in Basic Reporting class demonstrate what they think an intro and nut graph are (Yes, I know I ended that with a preposition. Fuck you. It's hip now).
For Willis and the Tigers' other pitchers, including ace Justin Verlander and 2006 World Series holdovers Jeremy Bonderman, Kenny Rogers and Nate Robertson, it could be a lot of fun.
Ambiguous enough for you? A lot of fun? That nails down the crux of Detroit's rotation.
Again.
Bonderman? 2-8 with a 7.38 ERA in the second half last year.
Robertson? Bad. He's Garland without the inexplicably amazing win every third start.
Rogers? 98 years-old and coming off pretty major elbow surgery (arteries).
I wonder if Phil will mention a bullpen consisting of players with names like Grilli, Seay, Brydak and Miner (yes, that Jason Grilli)? Rodney has tendinitis in his shoulder and Zumaya isn't due back until July at the earliest. Closer? Todd Jones.
I wonder if he'll at least talk about it.
And again, I'm not sayin'. I'm just sayin'. These are concerns.
One of these kids is doin' his own thing. One of these kids is not like the other.
C'mon. It's odd to include Jacque Jones in the discussion. It's just odd.
Why include that? .273 in the playoffs. Is this a stream-of-consciousness column? Just include a detail - any detail - that's in front of you?
Fuck it. I'm going to do it as well. Tonight, I took a shit. It was funny that I had to go because I had already did it today but I guess I ate a decent amount of food to warrant it. And it was nice that the new Baseball America showed up because it gave me somethinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
...Sorry. I fell asleep on my keyboard just typing it.
With a collection of hitters that includes the 24-year-old Cabrera, Magglio Ordonez, Gary Sheffield, Curtis Granderson and Carlos Guillen, the Tigers may have surpassed the Red Sox, Yankees and Angels as the most dangerous team in the majors.
Offensive team. Offensive team in the majors. Pitching counts in these leagues that are considered big.
Consider this: Cabrera, who has averaged 32 homers and 115 RBIs in his four full big-league seasons, will hit fourth; the three men in front of him (Granderson, Placido Polanco and Ordonez) batted a combined .335 and scored 344 runs a year ago.
And the pièce de résistance:
Top four offensive teams by year based on runs scored:
2006: NYY, CLE, CWS, PHI. Only the Yankees made the playoffs. Cards 14th.
2005: NYY, BOS, TEX, CIN. Only two made it. White Sox finished 13th.
2004: NYY, BOS, CWS, TEX. Only two made it again. Boston was first.
2003: NYY, BOS, ATL, TOR. Three made it. Florida was 17th.
2002: NYY, BOS, CWS, LAA. Two made it. Angels were 21st in home runs.
2001: TEX, SFG, CWS, COL. None made it. D'Backs were 8th.
Just some thoughts. Pitching matters...a lot.
Granderson, the center fielder from Illinois-Chicago, agrees.
Pandering to the base.
He's the least experienced cog in a lineup that could have 14-time All-Star Ivan Rodriguez hitting eighth.
Do you know why Ivan Rodriguez will hit eighth? Because he's bad at touching first base in a safe manner lately.
OBP in the last three years: .290, .332, .294. That's Pedro Feliz territory.
Pitching is the question with the Tigers. They have no clear No. 2 starter behind Verlander--Willis has the pedigree but Bonderman is the best bet--and the bullpen is thin behind all-guts closer Todd Jones. They figure to pound a lot of opponents into submission, but their season could turn on whether they lose too many 9-7 games.
See. Was that so hard? Just mention it. And not in the second to last paragraph.
And what the hell does 'all-guts' mean? Does it mean bad and inexplicable as to how Leyland thinks he's a good idea to close baseball games? If it does, then I get it.
4.26 ERA, a 1.42 WHIP and a veritable cornucopia of Thigpenesque saves last year. Really. He's bad. He's 40 years-old, looks like a truck driver and kinda bad. Study these gamelogs and tell me if you want him closing for your team.
Give Willis seven runs and he'll take his chances.
Phil bets on that as the Tigers' #2/#3 pitcher.
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