No Whispers From Around The League? Ahhh, c'mon!Phil's regular Sunday column wasn't horrible upon first glance. And then it was.
Let's get started.
Griffey entered the weekend hitting .256 with seven homers and 30 RBIs in 227 at-bats. He ranked 13th in OPS (on-base plus slugging) among 15 big-league right fielders with enough plate appearances to qualify for the batting title, sandwiched between Houston's Hunter Pence and Atlanta's Jeff Francoeur.
WHHHHAAAAA????
That's a real analysis! See. Teams cannot create a tenth position or put twelve hitters in a lineup. This is something out of their control. They can field only one right fielder and that position carries with it some expectations w/r/t offensive output.
But how is Phil going to make a case for a team taking on a player with this track record?
Neither of those guys is having a great season, but would a contender want to have them? You better believe it. So why wouldn't several teams at least strongly consider Griffey before the trade deadline? Among those who possibly could use him:
Holy mother of shit!
That's the dumbest logic I've seen in four days, right after an anorexic woman on Thursday who asked about the fat content of everything on the menu and then proceeded to order the four cheese pizza with a tiramisu and a whole milk cappuccino for dessert.
Here's seven gazillion reasons why.
Hunter Pence is 25, four years away from free-agency and currently makes $396,000 this year.
Jeff Francoeur is 24, just under three years away from free-agency and makes $460,000.
Ken Griffey is 38, makes $12.5 million this year, has a club option of $16.5 million next year with a $4 million buyout, has seen a precipitous decline in hitty-type stuff in recent years and has played something resembling a full season exactly once since 2000 due to a bevy of injuries.
And it doesn't get better. Of all major-league right fielders, Griffey is 20th out of 24 in OPS among qualified hitters.
He's 107th in all of baseball. Jason Kubel is better. Nobody's giving up prospects for Jason Kubel.
It's all relative to what is given up, how much it costs now and down the road and whether current options can equal Griffey's expected output! Cripes! That's just dumb!
Let's get to Phil's possible options.
Dodgers: They have almost no power in the outfield (zero homers in 276 at-bats by their left fielders entering the weekend) and hit 25 points less against right-handers than left-handers. Griffey could join manager Joe Torre in giving this patchwork team more presence as it continues to reel in fading Arizona.
Totally deceptive analysis. Juan Pierre is in left for the Dodgers, a guy Phil praised in the past and who is NOT a homerun hitter. So who's benched? Pierre - a guy with a huge contract and is the only thing resembling a leadoff hitter on the Dodgers team or Matt Kemp - a guy with with a better OPS than Griffey this year and is 15 years younger. Or Andre Ethier - a switch hitter also OPSing better than Griffey and is 12 years younger.
And what happens when Andruw Jones comes off the DL? Another guy with a huge contract that will have to see playing time. So the Dodgers should trade for another impossibly old player with a monstrous contract and impede the development of their young players just to have a left-handed stick who hits right-handed pitching at a .262 clip, all for a slim chance to make a run at Arizona; something that won't help/happen and only to get their brains beat in the first round of the playoffs should they make it.
Verdict: Stupid-ass option.
Diamondbacks: They loved their outfield a year ago but find themselves with disappointing production from both corners. Eric Byrnes was hitting .219 when he went on the DL with a hamstring injury, and Justin Upton is 4-for-66 with 33 strikeouts in road games since April 25. His 10th-inning double Thursday was his first extra-base hit in a road game since April 23. Both Byrnes and Upton are right-handed hitters, so Griffey could fit.
Byrnes injured BOTH hamstrings early in the season and tried to play through it, resulting in said crappy output.
Upton is one of the best and sure prospects in recent years. Sure, he's been shitty of late but Phil is positing the addition of Griffey and the subtraction of Upton. I thought Phil was all about prospects? This stupidity flies in the face of everything Phil has belched out about the White Sox for the last six months!!!!!!!
And get off this left-handed stick argument usurping every other factor. You sound like a Mike Murphy caller.
Verdict: Stupid-ass option.
Cubs: Lou Piniella has been pushing to add a left-handed run-producer. That need had been lessened by the recent hitting of Kosuke Fukudome and Jim Edmonds, but the broken hand of Alfonso Soriano changes things again. Still, it's doubtful Edmonds and Griffey could fit on the same roster.
So sign him for a month? And be left with trying to move him again, ultimately leaving the Cubs involved in some contractual obligation?
Cripes. You answered your own question.
Verdict: Stupid-ass-ass-ass option.
Mets: Left field has been a wasteland with Moises Alou experiencing a run of injuries. Like the Dodgers, they're better from the right side of the plate than the left, so Griffey could fit.
I say again. Griffey is not tearing up RHPs this year! Two. Sixty. Two.
And adding Griffey would bloat an already huge payroll. But it's not a bad option.
Verdict: Mildly reasonable.
Indians: GM Mark Shapiro admits he second-guesses himself for not adding a corner outfielder during the off-season. It's not too late for Cleveland to make a run at the White Sox, but it's not going to happen if it continues to rank at the bottom of the AL in production from right field, left field and DH. The loss of Victor Martinez for two months and possibly the season after elbow surgery and uncertain status of Travis Hafner (on the DL with a bad shoulder) exacerbates the need to add a bat.
The Indians are already wringing their hands about giving Sabathia a huge contract extension. So let's give Griffey about $10 million (this year plus buy-out) just to make it look like they care. There is nothing that says the Indians will make a run this year. Ben Francisco is having himself a nice little season and David Delucci is OPSing at the same rate as Griffey. If Shapiro makes such a move, it would be a dumb one.
Verdict: Not a stupid-ass option. Just a stupid option.
Rays: This isn't a great roster fit, as left-handed hitters Eric Hinske,Gabe Gross and Cliff Floyd are doing all right in the right field-DH mix, but geographically it could be attractive. Griffey would be an upgrade in the outfield (149 career assists, compared to five for Hinske) and packs a big presence.
Griffey would single-handedly beat teams with his infectious smile. They would crumble in the presence of such charisma. Forget LH-hitting analyses now because it doesn't fit into the Rays argument.
They're not 'doing all right'. They're better and cheaper than Griffey.
And Hinske's played 80 fucking games in the outfield IN HIS CAREER!!!!!!!
Griffey's played 2248 games!
The only reason for the Rays to add Griffey is to put butts in seats. No. Other. Reason.
Verdict: Stupid-ass option, but might happen.
Twins: Ron Gardenhire generally uses the DH spot to get his regulars some rest. Griffey could get at-bats there and in left field, where the right-handed-hitting Delmon Young has been the regular.
How dare Delmon Young be right-handed. Blasphemer.
Again. Platoon another young guy trying to get his feet wet and figure some things out with a $10 million commitment and will cost some prospects, something Phil loves and the Twins just got in the Santana deal. All for a team that is going nowhere this year.
Verdict: Stupid-ass option.
Blue Jays: Toronto's DHs are hitting a whopping .214.
Phil doesn't mention that Frank Thomas' .166 average drags these numbers down because Phil loves Frank.
And again, trade for a $10 million commitment and add him to a team going nowhere? JHC! This is getting brutally repetitive.
Verdict: Stupid-ass option.
Red Sox: Boston's need depends on the health of David Ortiz.The Red Sox will take a look at his left wrist later this week. If surgery is required, Griffey would be an ideal replacement for the defending World Series champs.
Let's see. Drew in right. Manny is left. Ellsbury in center. Crisp spelling all of them and in the DH slot when he's not. Where's Griffey playing? And what does he add that the Sox don't already have? And what happens when Ortiz comes back? Do they just dump him?
Verdict: Stupid-ass-ass option.
Power Rankings For Morons up next. Ugh.
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