Doin' some catch-up.I swear, sometimes reading Phil makes me anticipate an "I can count to four!" at any time.
On Opening Day, he was relegated to watching TV baseball as opposed to, you know, actually watching a game from the press box.
He gave his pithy observations here.
Let's get started.
Weird day, Monday.
Rather than joining our corps of reporters in the field, I was put under house arrest by The Guy in the Big Office. He assigned me to watch as much baseball as possible and see if I could learn something to pass along to readers.
This is what managers do to people to limit any impending damage a person is capable of thrusting on the world. Keep their contribution innocuous. It's called a box. You'd think a national baseball columnist for a major newspaper could pretty much dictate how he would like to cover Opening Day. You know, because he's the national baseball columnist and it's, you know, Opening Day.
Many possibilities here. Could be a Mcguffin. Could be laziness. Could be a McGuffin prompted by his laziness. Could be his laziness prompted the actual assignment. I think it's a stew of all of them.
Send Konerko with one out on a sharp single directly at Franklin Gutierrez down 6-1 in the seventh with one out? Just because Konerko's slow doesn't make it a baserunning blunder, especially down 6-1 late in the game when you need runs in bunches, not taking that opportunity to run yourself out of an inning.
The Crede blunder was legit. Why include the Konerko one, aside from making it fit into a Cubs-Sox baserunning comparison, already a dopey proposition.
Just let the Sox play their game and the Cubs play theirs. Just because they both play in the same city doesn't mean they're related in any way, shape or form. It's more pandering to the stupid.
• Johan Santana, yes. The former Twins ace didn't have his best stuff against Florida, but the new New York Met cruised to a 7-2 win that could be the first of 20-something this season. In his final inning, the seventh, he was throwing his fastball in the low 90s and fanned Matt Treanor on an 80-m.p.h. changeup that ought to come with a condolence card.
I bet $20 that was the only play Phil watched of that game. It was the Marlins. Santana's great, probably one of the top three/four pitchers in the game, but I expect Phil to beat this drum for the rest of the year. Phil, your weekly check from the Johan Santana promotional foundation is still in the mail. No worries.
• Joe Torre, relocated to Los Angeles after 12 seasons with the Yankees, is more interested in proving his old owner wrong than his new general manager right. He benched Juan Pierre to play Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp—both better hitters—on the outfield corners even though the ping-hitting Pierre had played 434 consecutive games and is still owed $36.5 million.
How in all that is holy is playing two players that you admit are better hitters than Juan Pierre a case of Joe Torre proving Steinbrenner wrong? That makes absolutely no sense.
Who gives a shit that he's played 434 consecutive games? He's bad at getting on base to the tune of a .329 OBP over the last three years...for a leadoff hitter. Criminy.
• Gary Sheffield has become the most patient hitter in the game. He walked four times in Detroit's extra-inning loss to Kansas City, twice after falling behind 0-2. In the ninth inning, with two outs and nobody on base, he took a strike on 3-1 rather than flailing for the fences, then walked on 3-2. Magglio Ordonez popped up to end the inning.
Probably factitious, but Sheffield was 41st in OBP last year, 78th in 2006. So if you mean for April 2, 2008, Gary Sheffield was the most patient hitter in the game, sure, why not.
But it's another example of Phil just writing what he briefly sees. Say what you see, Gareth.
Tie some shit together Phil and give me some analysis please. That's what columnists do, or at least it's in their job description.
• Cubs manager Lou Piniella should think about moving Felix Pie into the No. 7 spot. He's not going to get anything to hit with the pitcher behind him. Alfonso Soriano, a 70-RBI disappointment a year ago, is no No. 2 hitter either.
This is the stupidest thing I've heard over the last month. Mike Murphy has been pushing this crap since Steve Stone mentioned it on his show in early April.
Let me be clear and to the point. The Chicago Cubs baseball season's enjoyment/success does not hinge on the cutesy development of Felix Pie. If you move the pitcher up one slot, it means Geovany Soto will not see pitches. Soto is a much better prospect with much more power potential, anchoring an important position that the Cubs have desperately needed production out of for a few years now.
It's a dumb argument. Stop it.
• The Piranhas aren't turning into guppies just because Torii Hunter and Santana left. With Livan Hernandez starting in place of Santana, the Twins knocked off Hunter and the Los Angeles Angels.
One game. The Twins are bad at baseball, especially at throwing the ball to home plate from the bump in the middle of the infield.
• Why doesn't Cincinnati cut the cord with Adam Dunn? Yes, he hits home runs, but, man, the strikeouts. He couldn't lay off ball four leading off the ninth, not even with the Reds trailing by two runs, and Dusty Baker lost his debut in Cincinnati 4-2. Dunn isn't the future; Jay Bruce is.
Aaaaah, the crown jewel. Cut the cord on Adam Dunn? A guy with a career .381 OBP and has hit 40 or more home runs in each of the last four years? Ryan Howard struck out 199 times last year, and he missed some time. Should the Phillies dump him?
Jay Bruce is the heir apparent in CENTERFIELD, not leftfield where Dunn plays, you dope. And he would be there now if Dusty didn't ask the front office to sign Corey fuckin' Patterson.
I wish Phil was in my fantasy league.
I was going to do Phil's weekend offering but I'll just summarize.
* Doug Davis is a hero for contracting thyroid cancer, more than that smarmy Curt Schilling fella.
* Phil says, "many scouts and analysts thought Detroit would be the best lineup ever." Not 'many scouts and analysts'. Phil did...here.
* Kevin Youlikis is a 'winning player' who 'plays the game right'. And he met Steve Garvey, which was neat.
No comments:
Post a Comment